Marriage is a job. It is not an institution that you should enter into lightly. You should be sure that this is the person for you and that you can’t imagine tomorrow without him/her. God created marriage because He said it is not good for man to be alone but loneliness can not be your reason for choosing your mate. Don’t look for a fixer upper either. Know your worth and value and what you are bringing to the table and expect him/her to bring something to the table as well. Be sure that this person is your true friend and your soul mate. Recognize that you are making a vow before God and you should take it seriously.
I enjoyed being a wife when I was married. I never intended to get a divorce, however, at the same time I didn’t marry for the reasons I listed above. I was lonely and ready to get married and start a family so that is what I did. It was a huge mistake that couldn’t be corrected. I am not sure why my husband married me but it definitely wasn’t out of love. This I know because he was constantly having affairs and he knew the pain it caused me each time I learned of one of them. Never the less it was a huge lesson learned for me.
I do miss having someone to pray for and someone to do little things for. Like sending him flowers just because and leaving notes in his car and putting little notes in his lunch bag that I packed for him daily. You must put in the work to show the other person that you care and that they are still number one on your list. If not love will surely get lost in the day-to-day shuffles of life. Here are some examples of things I used to do:
Surprised weekend getaway and I have his bags packed and ready to go when he walks through the door
Roses and candles and cards placed beside every other rose that lead to our room when he would come home from late meetings
Created menus that would have entrees, a la cartes and deserts. He would not have a choice of the entrée which could be a movie or a museum visit or art gallery but he would have a choice of the a la carte and desserts are optional.
These were just little things that I felt would mean a lot to him and let him know that I had his back and that he was appreciated. I can’t stress enough that marriage is work and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you find that love you are destined to have pray about it and let God lead you in every decision you make regarding that person. Keep God first and center and always, always seek advice in the bible before you seek it from those around you.
Dr Lisa Melton