Once again I find myself sitting in a window seat in God’s waiting room. As I look out the clearest window I’ve ever seen and journal my tears because as a single mom I can’t let my baby see me cry, the why questions flood my thoughts and my soul. Oh how I yearn for my spirit to be lifted beyond disappointments and hurt yet I am human and these emotions can overwhelm me at times.
As I gaze out my window I hear other people’s names being called but no mention of my name. I look over my shoulder out the window I see people taking flight. Yet I have so many weights holding me down many placed on me by others and I can’t seem to break free.
My heart cries but I want it to smile. I have to trust God’s plan. I know He won’t lead me down the wrong path. I must stop looking at others and enjoy my wait. God is making me comfortable so I must relax and enjoy the process.
God makes no mistakes and His will shall prevail. So every word written in tears will be transformed into diamonds. My time will come. I am who I am and I’m confident in what I know. So I will run on in the race assigned to me by God.
Surely He sees some type of endurance in me that I have yet to awaken to. So in His presence and fullness of love I will rest. I will rest with a grateful heart in God’s waiting room. My seat is the best seat in the room. So as I wait I see how God is truly looking out for me even in the midst of my indescribable lack of understanding I’ve made up my mind that I’m trusting God fully.
Can you even imagine if God was not in control? Would clouds hang from trees? Would the sun and moon coordinate there place and time in the sky? Would oceans have no boundaries? Would trees talk?would the earth spin? Would stars stay in place?
I just can’t imagine if God was not in total control of all that we see. Can you imagine?